this past week...

11 mos

• cruising on furniture
• so close to walking
• feeding herself and others
• smiles ear to ear at her brother
• in love with hudson
• takes short naps during week, long on wknd
• sleeping 12 to 13 hours
• hates her carseat
• says "da" "ma" 
• waves goodbye
• loves to sing "twinkle twinkle"
• responds to "how big is Maggie? So big!

we are starting to plan magoo's first birthday...blowing my mind.  we're pretty excited for our plans, they're pretty chill, just like mags.  i can't wait to post photos and ultimately, celebrate this little chick's life.  she brings us so much joy

 2 yrs, 3 mos

• officially entered the "twos"
• loves to sing, "wheels on the bus" "twinkle twinkle" "itsy bitsy spider" "five little monkeys" and finally, "Rise and Shine"
• loves to close his eyes, fold his hands and pray with us
• repeats a lot of what mom and dad says
• loves school buses, airplanes, trains and helicopters
• favorite treat: chocolate milk and molasses pumpkin cookies
• loves mango, pumpkin and peach veggie packs
• wishy washy on bananas
• yogurt is his absolute favorite - lime greek
• claps and snaps
• loves dance parties
• loves his daddy
• reads "good night moon" every night
• rubs his earlobes 
• working on sharing

this little boy keeps us on our toes.  i was challenged to do my research on the mind of a two year old as i was finding myself raising my voice and slow in patience.  a friend of mine, HVT, recommended a great book -  "Wild Things - The Art of Nurturing Boys"





                                   
this book has my attention - i am enjoying learning hudson's needs, they way he looks at life and having more realistic expectations of a youngster.   Kindle: $9.99 - it's worth it!

blue bird, the lone bellow

this week, mr best and i had the opportunity to have a date night in bloomington. since our concert wasn't starting until 9, we knew this was going to be a late night.  our good friend dc offered to stay at our place and watch hud and mags. 
we ate at opie taylors - bloomington's hamburger paradise - have we had better? yes but this little hole in the wall satisfied our beef cravings.
we walked to the blue bird and settled in to watch the lone bellow.  one of our favorite bands.  if you want a front row seat to raw emotion, christ-loving, great melody, or just down right art - you must check out the lone bellow.   http://www.relevantmagazine.com/podcast/lone-bellow 


                              


great night - loved sitting at dinner dreaming about our future, gushing on our kids and enjoying the time that we had together alone.  we ended the night at steak n shake and enjoyed chocolate milkshakes - a celebration of what's in store for us in the next few months.  i love this season with mr best - this poor man puts up with a lot and i'm forever indebted to him for his patience.  love my pal.


last night, i came home from work exhausted both physical and emotionally, after talking things out with mr best, i walked away and had some "me" time in the bathroom, simply just siting on the toilet lid (hey, we live in the city, room is limited) and i came upon this blog that a couple of my friends are following - i was blatantly reminded how bad i am at loving.  i'm feel extremely selfish with my love as though folks have to earn it.  totally goes against what i'm called to live.  the blog is called, "mundane faithfulness" -http://mundanefaithfulness.com/
 wowza!  this woman has the strength of a million men - going though cancer and knowing her days are numbered as in sooner than later and is totally giving her grief to Christ.

in yesterday's post, the part that really got a hold of me and slapped the silliness was this...

"The God given kind of love will never end. My love is limited and marred. My love is choosy and grumpy, and wants to withdraw when inconvenient, but the Love from God given to me to give pushes past those things, fills a love cup more full than I could ever imagine, and that love will go on and on and on far beyond my reach and my days. What if this kind of love can be given to me in the midst of my grumpy hungaries? Miraculous! In my own strength, I could never do that, but in Christ all things are possible."

lump in throat - shaking off my conditional acts and allowing Christ to pour over me - noted.

i'm planning on spending this weekend to be recklessly loved by Jesus that I love the unlovely, the unworthy and the child on the floor in an angry fit

He's still working on me...

i've got the joy...

the best family is officially in the christmas spirit.  i know, we're slightly crazy but we're having a great time.

i love having this new spirit about the christmas holiday - the past couple christmas' have been somewhat of a struggle for me personally. 

 the first year that nick and i were married, that christmas brought much sadness as we mourned the loss of nick's cousin john and the news of nick's mom's terminal cancer diagnosis.  i remember standing in nick's aunt's house that christmas and feeling an immense about of sadness  sadness that i knew would hang around my new family for months/years to come.  most new married couples should be giddy about spending the magical holiday together married - walking up in the same bed and laughing about the cheesy, "first christmas" ornament that a family member gave you from a past bridal shower.  instead we were doing, "last" christmas memories.

the following year we lost kathie to ovarian cancer in march and were feeling the sting of her death that year's christmas.  i remember struggling to hold back tears as i sat in aunt laurie's living room listening to kathie's siblings, nieces and nephews and her own children sing christmas carols - and remembering that this was her favorite part of the beck family christmas.  i went downstairs to the room that nick and i were staying in and just weeping, mourning the loss of my mother-in-law, the loss of joy and the anger towards myself for feeling selfish for wanting to be happy and ignoring the loss for a few moments of happiness.

the following christmas for us was a world-wind.  hudson was four months old, we were very much a schedule family, and we had our nightly routines down so traveling to cincinnati and michigan with a baby was very stressful but the most memorable/joyful experience for me was when nick's aunts each took turns holding hudson and cradling him to sleep giving nick and i a break.  my favorite was when his aunt mary who has down syndrome, took hudson and started to sing to him like he was her own.  i remember both nick and i looking at each other with tears in our eyes as our hearts melted. as aunt mary gets older and we see less of her, i will always be reminded of her loving hudson and singing to him a lullaby that she quietly sang to him.
i think i was such a stress ball that i forgot to really take in what all christmas offers - new mom mistake.

finally, last year, magoo arrived a week before christmas. i was overwhelmed with having a newborn who didn't the "it's christmas, don't cry" memo, i was also mourning the loss of my time with hudson and nick.  i was also sad to miss out on what i knew to be christmas...my parents, siblings, nieces and nephews and michigan. as the day progressed nick really did a great job in making sure the day was joyful. 

so this year i want to make sure that i embrace the season.  carry on the tradition of kathie best and her love for christmas carols sung together with family and not letting life's woes steal the joy that the lord has given me. thank you lord for sending your son to die for my sins so that i may spend eternal life with you.  i've got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart.